I wish to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I’m still amazed that I was granted this possibility to see shining examples of the teachings of A Course in Miracles, and for initially in an extended while, I do not feel alone.
Element of me wanted to remain longer, but beneath that desire was the idea that I will be this for the incorrect reason; as an easy way to prevent my problems. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.
Before I left, Jason asked if I had had any insights. What I’m about to share wasn’t yet clear in those days; only on the drive away achieved it coalesce.
That morning, several lines from a Vance Joy song kept running through my head, “I never must have told you, never must have let you see inside a course in miracles. Don’t want it troubling your brain, won’t you allow it be?” This confused me as I possibly could not think of whatever I had said that I felt regret for.
Eventually, the phrase, “don’t want it troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that the most prominent fear I had in coming to the Monastery was that I’d somehow interfere using its residents’peace of mind, simply by my presence alone. This belief that I possibly could negatively affect other people’s state of mind has been with me for quite some time, and has colored many of my past experiences and relationships.
This fear left my awareness immediately after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of his true videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel like the belief will be (has been?) released.
You will find other things that happened that felt important, but I can’t think of them right now.